Today, there are no shortage of options when it comes to starting a family without traditional conception. But that doesn’t mean it’s an easy road. For LGBT couples or those with reproductive challenges, finding egg donors, sperm donors or viable surrogates is a long and complicated process. Bird Meets Bee, a new tech resource built by a Boston College alum, seeks to simplify things by basically serving as a dating site for fertility.
“People are typically pretty scared when they realize that they need help,” founder Cecelia McDonald told BostInno in a phone interview. “Once you start going through the process—and figuring out how much it’s going to cost—it can be overwhelming. You’re talking about thousands for sperm donation, tens of thousands for egg donation, and upwards of $100,000 for surrogacy and egg donation. It’s tremendously expensive, and can be a huge hurdle.”
Despite the fact that Bird Meets Bee may not lower the costs of medical procedures, it’s designed to help lower payments to the donor and the agency—while also easing the other burdens involved thanks to matching methods inspired by the groundbreaking work that’s been done in kidney transfer.
The concept for Bird Meets Bee is one with very personal roots for McDonald, who found out at a young age that to have a child, she would need an egg donor.
“I had a lot of time to think about what resources I wanted to have available for myself—and also for other people,” she says.
It was several years ago that McDonald initially came up with the core idea for the site, which will finally be launching by October. And it couldn’t be more timely: As of last month, married same-sex couples throughout the U.S. reap the same recognition as opposite-sex couples, as well as equal access to all the same federal benefits.
Streamlining the search process
To get started, anyone can post a profile on the site indicating what they need (egg donation, sperm donation, or surrogacy), and what they can offer in return. Optional details on the profile might include their LGBT status, heritage, hair color, eye color, or height. People can also post a profile offering help to others, whether for free or in exchange for compensation. Couples can post both people willing to donate or a family member/friend willing to donate on their behalf in order to complete a swap.
While searching, users can filter profiles based on the characteristics of the couple or the donor—whichever is more important to them. Like any dating site, they can favorite other users and message any matches they find to get the ball rolling. There are also security measures in place: Any user can be blocked, and the site is working to cap the messages one can send without a response to three (to hinder spam). Once a person has found their match, they have the option to pause or cancel their membership.
During the first six months of the beta test period, Bird Meets Bee will be free to use. Once the beta ends, users will pay $40/month for six months, and the fee will drop to $10/month after that.
Bird Meets Bee may not lower the costs of fertility services, but it's designed to help ease the other burdens involved.
A foundation for healthy relationships
Beyond just facilitating these transfers, though, Bird Meets Bee plays a crucial role in enabling people to ensure that they find a donor or recipient with whom they can have the kind of relationship they desire.
“With a closed donation, you don’t get much information—sometimes if you pay extra you can see your donor’s baby photos, but you don’t get to meet them,” McDonald explained. “A lot of people will want to have a little bit more. They probably won’t want to co-parent, and they probably probably won’t want it to be completely closed. Most people will fall somewhere in the middle: They want to be able to talk about medical history, and give updates along the way."
McDonald stressed that once someone has found a match on Bird Meets Bee, it's crucial that they work closely with legal and medical professionals to figure out the details of the transfer.
“It’s important to have a contract in place to make sure everyone is on the same page in terms of the milestones for the donation, compensation, and other aspects,” she said. “We want to make sure people know that they need to get legal counsel and work with a fertility center because that will have major implications for their families—and for their future.”
Down the line, McDonald hopes to possibly introduce services on Bird Meets Bee for background checks, and referrals for legal services as well as LGBT-friendly fertility centers.
Family photo via Shutterstock.
