Weddings are supposed to be one of the happiest moments in a person’s life. But the planning leading up to it – venues, DJs, caterers, flowers, guest lists and the rest – can make it incredibly stressful. Then, imagine planning a wedding that will last for multiple days, sometimes spanning multiple continents, for hundreds of guests.
That is what is typical for many South Asian weddings. And it’s something Arjita Shrimali experienced first-hand, when planning her own. So, to help others like her connect with the right vendors, venues and others serving that community in one place, she launched The Desi Bride.
“South Asian weddings are very specific and complex in the sense that you have three days of events. So, you’ve got all these cultural, religious events that don’t traditionally happen at all other weddings, so it’s really hard,” Shrimali told NTX Inno. “I noticed this huge gap. Everyone goes through this process, there’s a ton of tribal knowledge sitting in so many different places, yet why doesn’t it get passed down? That’s why I created this platform.”
The Dallas-based startup offers a one-stop online shop for couples to find a curated list of wedding vendors in DFW, Austin and Houston serving the South Asian community, from planners and photographers to face masks and florists.
Shrimali, who launched The Desi Bride in October, knows the stresses and difficulties of planning a South Asian wedding. While planning here own, which took place partly in India and partly in Dallas, her husband called one day, saying he needed to go to the ER while experiencing what he thought may be a heart attack. After tests and tense hours of waiting, they found out it was an anxiety attack. And, talking to more friends and couples, she found they weren’t the only ones who had similar experiences.
“It was that year of the stressful planning, the constant task list, the family drama and all of the managing your daily corporate job,” Shrimali said. “Then you throw in the complexity of South Asian families. They are super involved. You have this new generation that’s trying to mesh between the traditional heritage and the modern, millennial couple and so its super complex. And in the U.S. there’s not a lot of resources that cater to the South Asian couple.”
While planning any large wedding can be taxing, Shrimali said South Asian weddings come with their own customs and challenges. For one, there’s just not that many vendors serving that community, she said. In addition, the traditions of many culture from that region involve multiple ceremonies that have unique requirements, such as a Hindu tradition that has the bride and groom walk around a fire – something many venues in DFW may shy away from. Shrimali also added that the complex family dynamics in South Asian can cause for some domestic drama.
And because the South Asian community is tight-knit, finding reliable vendors can be difficult too, Shrimali said. On The Desi Bride’s platform, reviews are anonymous. Shrimali said this is because many are hesitant to leave bad reviews when they know they will likely have to interact with that person in the community again. She also said the company spends time getting to know each vendor and the needs that part of the wedding industry have.
“One of my roles as the founder of The Desi Bride is not only finding the vendors that are already incredibly well known,” Shrimali said. “We want to showcase them and make it easy for couples to find them, but we also want to bring vendors that are not a part of the community today and bring them into the community, which is really great for our couples because it provides unique and innovative companies that are doing cool things that we haven’t had exposure to.”
Unsurprisingly, the pandemic has made a serious impact on the wedding industry, which relies on large gatherings. However, while it has caused many weddings to scale down or postpone, it has accelerated other parts of the industry, Shrimali said. She and the vendors she works with have seen an increased use of e-commerce and virtual touring of venues, as well as more traditional parents becoming more accepting of smaller weddings.
The Desi Bride is also currently offering a COVID-19 concierge service, which involves pre-screening communications and on-site measures like temperature checks and hand sanitizer stations.
“I’m really excited about the industry as we take this next step because its opened up so many cool opportunities,” Shrimali said.
A shift to online is not the only trend Shrimali is seeing in the industry. Though not related to the pandemic, she said South Asian weddings are increasingly becoming more interracial and expects that to continue. While The Desi Bride is focused on the South Asian community, she also sees the platforms role as helping non-South Asians become more aware of cultural traditions, as well as a way to help vendors who typically focus on Western weddings help break more into the South Asian community.
“We have to learn to become inclusive because it’s really about bringing two cultures together,” Shrimali said. “As we showcase this, other couples that go through similar hurdles of interracial marriages and haven’t seen examples until now can see this as a model that is happening in today’s world.”
For now, The Desi Bride is planning on sticking to the Texas market, as it looks to bring on more vendors and get feedback from users and the South Asian community at-large. She said that Texas is an ideal location, as surrounding states have concentrations of South Asian communities, they don’t have a large number of wedding vendors to serve them.
“For me being able to solve this problem around stressful wedding planning, high-anxiety wedding planning, family drama that goes into the wedding planning that would be huge for me,” Shrimali said. “It’s not just a problem with South Asian weddings… it’s a problem that resonates across cultures. So, if we can find a solution for it to really make that process more enjoyable, more a part of bringing two families and two people together, then it's something that we can scale to other cultures as well.”
